


can i hug you?

by to-a-merrier-world (wayward_wolves)



Series: sleepyhunk's prompts and drabbles [3]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hugs, Multi, can be read as romantic but doesn't have to be, other characters mentioned in passing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-18
Updated: 2017-09-18
Packaged: 2018-12-31 03:49:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12123897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wayward_wolves/pseuds/to-a-merrier-world
Summary: "He hugs Shiro too hard for it to be comfortable, but Shiro doesn’t mind at all, bringing his own arms around Hunk. One arm presses against Hunk’s shoulders, keeping him pressed to Shiro’s chest, while the other rubs up and down Hunk’s back in a soothing rhythm. Shiro presses his nose into Hunk’s hair and makes quiet shushing noises in-between “it’s okay”s and “I’ve got you, Hunk”s."Hunk and Shiro hug and cry and slowly come to understand what it means to help each other.





	can i hug you?

**Author's Note:**

> oh boy, i love angst:))))
> 
> no beta, all mistakes mine, yadda yadda, enjoy~

Hugging Lance is easy, they’re pretty affectionate with each other anyways, so if Hunk hugs him a bit more or longer than usual, it’s not really something that Lance notices.

Pidge has never been much of a hugger, at least hugs she doesn’t initiate herself. But Hunk is her friend, and he’s pretty dang huggable, and so she doesn’t mind letting him initiate hugs more often than she’d allow it from anyone else. She eventually even gets used to it, accepting the hugs as they come, sometimes even continuing what she was working on and patting Hunk on the arm to show she’s good with him doing it, until Hunk lets go.

Keith is also surprisingly easy to hug. He never initiates, but he’s gotten very comfortable with Hunk’s hugs, has started really leaning into them, even if he doesn’t usually wrap his arms around Hunk in return. It’s just not something he feels he’s very good at, but Hunk doesn’t mind when he feels Keith push just a tiny bit closer into Hunk’s chest.

Coran is easy, too, like hugging one of his uncles. He never really questions Hunk’s hugs, maybe because he thinks it’s a human thing or maybe because he thinks it’s a Hunk thing. Either way, Coran takes it in stride and always welcomes Hunk’s hugs with enthusiasm and sincerity.

Hunk feels weird about hugging Allura. They aren’t close, and Hunk just can’t figure her out, she keeps her cards too close to her chest, only ever really showing her weaknesses to Coran. They’ve shared celebratory hugs, and Hunk has had to half carry her before, when she’s exhausted or over-exerted herself, but those don’t really count as hugs. But it’s fine, they show their affection in different ways. Hunk tries to replicate traditional Altean dishes, and Allura is always first to lay a comforting hand on Hunk’s shoulder or arm.

They do hug, really really hug, once when Hunk goes on a particularly dangerous mission. Allura and Hunk had, in a surprising turn of events, actually had a fight, and then Hunk had to rush off on a mission only the Yellow Paladin and Lion could do. Allura had followed him to the hangar and they’d shared a moment, each of them hugging a little harder than what’s strictly comfortable.

Hunk makes it back, a little bruised and battered, and Allura puts her hand on his shoulder and gives it a squeeze, the way she usually does. They’re okay.

It’s Shiro, though, that notices. Hunk’s tendency to hug more and longer, but to spend less time with the rest of the team. Who notices the sheer number of baked goods coming out of the kitchen, how sometimes there’s several platters full on the counter in the morning where there wasn’t when he went to bed. 

It’s not like it’s obvious, really. Shiro’s just good at noticing because he’s good at hiding himself.

And so when he follows Hunk when he leaves the rest of the team to go to his room, making sure to stay quiet and hidden so Hunk doesn’t know he’s following, he’s not entirely surprised to see Hunk leaning against the wall a hallway away from his bedroom. He’s curled into himself, his arms crossed over his stomach, hands fisted in the fabric of his shirt.

As Shiro walks closer, he can hear the hitches in Hunk’s breath, see the way he’s painfully biting his lip and how his knuckles are white with how hard his hands are fisted in his shirt.

“Hunk,” Shiro says, voice only just above a whisper in an attempt to not startle him.

Hunk looks up, startled, and there are tears in his eyes. Shiro suddenly feels the urge to cry, too, which is strange given how easily Hunk usually cries, and how little Shiro does. But this is different. Hunk cries easily, yes, but this is the first time Shiro’s ever seen such raw pain in his eyes.

“Shiro,” Hunk says, his voice shaky. 

He tries to straighten, then, and wipes roughly at his face with his sleeve in an attempt to hide his tears.

Shiro’s chest feels tight, and he’s not entirely sure how to handle Hunk in this situation, but he has to do  _something_. 

“Hunk,” he says again, letting his voice take on just a bit of that commanding tone he uses when he’s trying to get his team to focus and listen. 

Hunk looks at Shiro, immediately straightening a bit at his tone. In normal circumstances, Shiro might smile or even tease Hunk a little at his response, but these aren’t normal circumstances, and Shiro really isn’t in the mood to tease. Not when Hunk’s eyes are red-rimmed and still so,  _so_  sad.

“Can I hug you?” Shiro asks, gentling his voice as much as he knows how to.

He reaches out towards Hunk with his flesh hand, not touching him, but in obvious invitation.

Hunk looks at Shiro’s hand, his expression conflicted. He opens his mouth to reply, but when his breath hitches on the inhale, his face crumbles and suddenly his arms are around Shiro’s shoulders and his face is pressed firmly into the junction between Shiro’s neck and shoulder.

He hugs Shiro too hard for it to be comfortable, but Shiro doesn’t mind at all, bringing his own arms around Hunk. One arm presses against Hunk’s shoulders, keeping him pressed to Shiro’s chest, while the other rubs up and down Hunk’s back in a soothing rhythm. Shiro presses his nose into Hunk’s hair and makes quiet shushing noises in-between “it’s okay”s and “I’ve got you, Hunk”s. 

Shiro can feel each of Hunk’s shuddering breaths, and pretty soon his shirt collar is damp from Hunk’s near-silent tears. Shiro just holds him closer, and shuts his eyes, wishing he’d figured out something was wrong before things got to this point.

Shiro’s not certain how long they stand like that, but eventually Hunk’s tears stop and his breaths even out. Shiro keeps holding him and rubbing his back, letting Hunk decide when he’s ready to let go.

When Hunk finally pulls away, he takes a step back and wipes at his face with his shirt sleeve. Shiro gives him a moment, letting him finish composing himself as best he can. When Hunk stops wiping his face, he keeps his head bent down and starts fidgeting with the end of his shirt sleeve.

“Ah. Um… sorry, abou-,” Hunk starts, clearly embarassed about crying into Shiro’s shoulder in the middle of a random hallway of the Castle.

“Hey,” Shiro interrupts Hunk, a bit sharper than he meant to, but he hadn’t wanted to let him go into an apologetic, guilt spiral over expressing himself. 

“We should talk,” Shiro says, making sure to soften his voice this time.

Hunk’s expression turns unsure and nervous, so Shiro tries to put on a reassuring smile. 

“You’re room?”

For a moment, it looks like Hunk will argue, but then his shoulder slump forward, his expression almost defeated looking, and he starts towards his room, Shiro following close behind.

They get to Hunk’s room, and he presses his hand to the pad, the door sliding open with a nearly inaudible  _whoosh_. Hunk immediately goes to his bed and sits heavily, leaning forward to place his head in his hands. Shiro walks in, the door  _whooshing_  shut behind him, and carefully takes a seat next to Hunk, making sure to give him plenty of room. 

Shiro tries to figure out how to start this conversation, not even sure if there’s something specific that Hunk is upset about or if it’s just stress or what even is going on inside his head at all. Shiro is suddenly achingly aware of the fact that he doesn’t  _really_  know Hunk. He knows he’s braver than he gives himself credit for, and brilliant, and silly, and strong, and kind, and knows when he’s right, and cries easily, but.

What does he  _really_  know about him? 

Before he can say anything, though, Hunk speaks up next to him.

“I don’t think I can do this anymore,” Hunk said, voice muffled by his hands still covering his face.

“Do what,” Shiro asks quietly.

He leans forward unconsciously and tilts his head, his expression clouded with concern. He keeps his hands in his lap, tangled together to keep from reaching out to Hunk when he’s not certain the touch will be welcomed.

“This,” Hunk says, voice thick with emotion. He gestures around them, seemingly encompassing the entire castle.

“Everything. It’s just… it’s so hard,” Hunk says, voice breaking at the end. 

“Being a paladin isn’t easy, I know,” Shiro says sympathetically. “This war is hard and we’re all suffering for it, but we still have each other. We’re a team, and-”

“I know, Shiro, I  _know_ ,” Hunk interrupts, frustrated. “We’re a team and we’re all fighting the same war, but  _I’m_  the Yellow Paladin. I’m the one that supports the team, who holds everyone together, who puts everyone else’s needs before my own. And that’s fine, cause Allura was right, that _is_  who I am, that’s what I do, and it’s natural for me! And it’s not that I mind, or that I’m bitter about it, I’m  _not_ , I like doing things for all of you, it’s just…”

Hunk pauses, searching for some way to describe what was going on in his head. Shiro stays quiet, absorbing Hunk’s words. He feels like he should have seen this coming, should have anticipated this somehow. Shiro knows that Hunk does so much for the team, that he’s always there for them all, always the first to offer comfort, the first to reach out, the one that can bring them all together after the fighting is over. It always seemed so natural for Hunk, so easy for him, that Shiro never stopped to consider what taking on everyone else’s emotional baggage would do to him. 

But of course he should have seen it coming, he’s the same way, after all. He takes responsibility for his team and he tries to be there for all of them, so he knows first hand how much of a toll it can all take. And he also knows what it’s like to keep that all to yourself and not tell anyone what’s going on inside your head, that everything isn’t as okay as you pretend it is.

“It’s just that…” Hunk starts again, and Shiro refocuses on him. He can’t get stuck in his own inner turmoil, not when Hunk needs him in the here and now.

“Sometimes it feels like I’m suffocating from the weight of it all, like I’m drowning in it, and I just don’t know how to… to say anything about it.”

Hunk turns towards Shiro and his eyes are damp again, but the tears remain unshed and his eyes are filled with frustration and hurt and uncertainty. 

“I only know how to support other people, I don’t know how to ask for it back. And I’m just,” Hunk looks down, searching the floor as though it holds the words he’s looking for. 

Hunk looks back up at Shiro, he’s eyes asking for help. 

“I’m so lost, Shiro.”

Shiro can’t hold back any longer. He reaches out for Hunk and pulls him to his chest again in a tight hug made slightly awkward by the way they’re sitting. Shiro places his left hand over Hunk’s head, cradling the back of his skull, and Hunk buries his face in Shiro’s shoulder, arms holding Shiro just as tight.

“Hunk,” Shiro starts, his own voice rough with emotion. He clears his throat before starting over.

“I’m so sorry, Hunk,” Shiro says, voice still soft but more in control than before. 

“I’m so sorry we never noticed, that  _I_ never noticed. You’re so good Hunk, you’re such a kind and brave person, and the team shouldn’t have taken advantage of your kindness the way we’ve been doing, myself included. You deserve better.”

Shiro feels more than sees Hunk shake his head against his shoulder.

“No, it’s not like that,” Hunk says, voice muffled in Shiro’s shoulder before he lifts his head.

He doesn’t pull away entirely, his arms still wrapped partially around Shiro, but far enough away for them to be able to see each other’s faces.

“I don’t feel like any of you are taking advantage of me or anything like that,” Hunk says.

“Just because it doesn’t feel that way, doesn’t mean we  _aren’t_ ,” Shiro responds. “Or at the very least taking you for granted.”

Hunk sighs, looking away from Shiro’s intense gaze for a moment.

“None of that is why I’m upset,” Hunk eventually says, looking back at Shiro. “It’s just… everything’s been building up inside of me and nothing I did seemed to relieve it, and… I didn’t want to burden anyone with my issues, so I just kept it all inside. And it just… boiled over.”

Shiro looked down to try and gather his thoughts, absentmindedly rubbing his hand up and down Hunk’s back. 

“I know a thing or two about keeping things bottled up inside,” Shiro says, so quietly that if Hunk weren’t sitting mere inches away he wouldn’t have caught it.

“It doesn’t feel good, does it?” Shiro asks, glancing up at Hunk from under his white tuft of hair.

Hunk looks back at Shiro, his face going from pained to concerned.

“Shiro,” Hunk starts, but Shiro interrupts him, covering his mouth with his prosthetic hand.

“Nope,” Shiro says, forcing himself out of his own head. “I’m not saying this to make you feel sorry for me. Trust me, that’s the last thing I want. I’m saying this because I want you to know that I  _get it_. I know what you’re going through, or at least close to it. And just. You’re not alone, Hunk.”

Hunk watches Shiro from behind Shiro’s hand, before gently grabbing his wrist and moving it away from his mouth, taking Shiro’s hand with his other. 

“But you don’t deserve to feel this way either, Shiro,” Hunk says, voice barely above a whisper.

He squeezes Shiro’s hand in his, and it makes Shiro’s breath catch in his throat with how tenderly Hunk is treating him. Not pitying or like something broken, but like something… precious. 

 _But this isn’t about me_ , he reminds himself. 

“Hunk,” Shiro says, squeezing Hunk’s hand in return and forcing a smile onto his face. 

“You need to talk to someone, before things get this bad again. It doesn’t have to be me, if you’re not comfortable with that. It can be anyone on the team, I know any one of our friend’s would be glad to help you even a fraction of how much you help them.”

“But you need to talk to someone,” Shiro says, allowing a bit of hardness to enter his voice, if only to drive his point home. “If not for yourself, then for the team. We all have to be strong, together, or else we may never defeat the Galra Empire.”

Hunk looks down at their intertwined hands, biting his lip as he thinks.

“You, too,” he whispers.

“What?” Shiro asks, not understanding.

“You, too,” Hunk responds, voice stronger this time. He looks up at Shiro, and his whole face has changed. There’s a determined look in his eyes, and he doesn’t look afraid anymore. He looks brave. He looks like a paladin.

“You have to talk to someone, too,” Hunk says, and before Shiro can protest, he continues. 

“You’re on this team, too, Shiro. And you act like our fearless leader, and you’re amazing at it, but you said it yourself, things get to you, too. And I can’t even imagine all the things you’ve had to go through, just to get here, just to be the paladin you are, right now.” 

Shiro stares at Hunk in astonishment, not sure what to say, but Hunk saves him from having to say anything as he continues speaking. 

“And if I’m the legs holding this team up, then you’re the heart, Shiro,” Hunk says, expression completely earnest. “We all need you, Shiro. But you need us, too.”

Hunk’s voice turns harder, too, more determined, as though he were in the middle of battle rather than sitting on his bed, holding Shiro’s hand tightly in his own.

“So, if I have to talk to someone when things get too much for me, so do you,” Hunk says, eyes daring Shiro to argue.

“Okay,” Shiro says, voice quiet, almost reserved.

“Okay?” Hunk asks.

“You sound surprised,” Shiro says, laughing a bit, though not with much humor behind it.

“Well, I wasn’t really expecting you to agree to it so quickly,” Hunk says, sounding equal parts confused and proud.

“Ha, well,” Shiro says, slipping his hand out of Hunk’s and finally putting a bit of distance between them on the bed. “You were right.”

Hunk’s head jerks up in surprise, while Shiro keeps his bent, staring at his prosthetic hand.

“I do need you,” Shiro says, clenching his hand into a fist.

“Um, all of you,” he amends, sounding slightly embarrassed.

“Okay, then,” Hunk says after a moment when it becomes clear that Shiro isn’t going to say anything else.

He pushes himself further into his bed and leans back against the wall at the head of his bed, crossing his legs in front of himself and putting his hands primly in his lap. He looks back at Shiro expectantly.

Shiro blanches. “You want to talk right  _now_?”

“Why not?” Hunk asks, tilting his head.

He’s calmed down quite a lot, now. No one would be able to tell he’d ever even been crying, if his eyes weren’t still a bit red-rimmed and puffy, his voice still slightly too thick.

Shiro looks at him for a moment, trying to come up with a reason,  _any_  reason, why they shouldn’t be doing this  _right now_. Sure, he’d been the one to suggest Hunk talking, had agreed that he should talk, too, but now that he was faced with the opportunity to do so, there wasn’t anything he wanted to be doing  _less_.

However, he can’t come up with a good excuse, not one that Hunk would buy, anyway. He’s as stubborn as Shiro can be, especially when he’s certain he’s in the right, and Shiro isn’t sure he’d be able to get out of this.

So, he pushes himself further onto Hunk’s bed, too, and leans against the wall at the foot of his bed, facing Hunk and mirroring his position.

Then, he talks. And it’s just as hard and unpleasant, at first, as he thought it would be. But then the words starting coming a bit easier, and the tight feeling that had started up in his chest eventually starts to ease, and. It’s not pleasant, talking about these things never could be. But it’s not  _bad_  either.

He’s not the only one who talks, either, which actually helps. Because Hunk seems to understand, at least Shiro’s feelings, if not his experiences. But he understands Hunk, too, and it’s. Mutual.

Shiro doesn’t talk about everything he keeps buried deep inside of himself. He isn’t ready for that, doesn’t know if he’ll ever be ready to talk about some of it, but his shoulders already feel a little bit lighter, and he can only hope that Hunk feels even the same.

“Thank you,” Shiro says, after they’ve been sitting in a comfortable silence for a few minutes, neither of them sharing any more for the night.

“You’re welcome,” Hunk responds, and he says it so easily that it almost makes Shiro laugh, but maybe it’s just that lightened feeling in his chest making him feel this way.

“Thank  _you_ , Shiro,” Hunk says, and then he’s getting out of bed and stretching, his back turned towards Shiro, giving him a moment.

And Shiro isn’t sure how Hunk knew that he’d need one, quickly blinking away the tears that had suddenly gathered in his eyes. Because it was stupid and ridiculous that Shiro would be brought to tears over something so simple, so mundane, but here his is. And Hunk knew.

Somehow, Shiro doesn’t even feel surprised.

Shiro gets up, too, and walks up behind Hunk, grabbing his shoulder and giving it a squeeze.

“You’re welcome, Hunk,” he says, and his voice only betrays him a little.

And then Hunk’s turning around and pulling Shiro into a hug. It’s different from their previous two, not filled with the same urgency and need. A little softer, though still firm. Solid.

Shiro wraps his arms around Hunk, and just takes the moment to breath and center himself. Eventually, they both pull away, and Shiro thumps Hunk on the back for good measure and to lighten the mood.

Hunk laughs and returns the favor, hitting Shiro slightly harder than Shiro hit him, though Shiro thinks it’s not on purpose.

“We should do this again sometime,” Hunk says, sounding lighter than he has in weeks.

“Yeah,” Shiro says, his face splitting into a smile that feels more real and natural than they have in a long time. 

“We definitely should.”

**Author's Note:**

> comments/kudos always appreciated!


End file.
